I am a scholar, an aardvark, a madman in disguise.
I am a nutter, a worshiper of pangolins, and specialist in zero content.
I am Typing Error, I am soc.bi distress.
I bounce, I sing, I shout "Asparagus", I am obscenely alert at 7am.
I am one of the 9^9^9 avatars of Nyarlathotep, I am the Master of Madness.
I am background noise, statistical anomaly, and experimental error.
I am he who is accursed by Maxwell's Demon, but it is also my blessing.
I am innocent, I am naive, I am clue-less, and flirt-blind.
I am the Shatterer of Silence, the Devourer of Common Sense.
I am not the walrus, but I know a man who is.
I speak with angels, dragons, wookies and unicorns.
I converse with piglets, platypuses, cats, tigers, rabbits, dogs, and bears.
I have encounted Ninja Housemates, Ninja Kittens, Ninja Kits and Ninj himself.
I have no fear of spiders, but I cower from wasps.
[I am told that I am camp]
I am a tove breeder of some standing, and I have survived a Jabberwock.
I am the Vegetable Avenger, and the dreaded Wibbler in the Dark.
However, most people call me Jon.